Thursday, February 25, 2010

[5] Slash Fiction: Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy

In honor of talking about GLBTQ issues in my class last night and in particular the term "Celluloid Coloset" (basically meaning taking on a queer reading of a predominantly straight book), and because slash fiction is the most popular form of fiction on fan fiction.net, I bring to you some horribly awesome writings from the other side of the track.

1. Chocolate sheets by HPxXx
It's a few years since Hogwarts and Harry is working for the Ministry. While out at a new bar Harry bumps into Draco, how things have changed since Hogwarts, they would never have considered..

I'm more concerned with the title than anything else...

2. Ceremonies of Strife by Lomonaaeren
HPDM slash. Sequel to Soldier's Welcome. Harry and Draco's second year of Auror training, with unicorn ghosts, the risen dead, and a secret order of assassins, not to mention Nihil's war.

UNICORN GHOSTS!!! RUNNNN!!!!


3. Phoenix Tears by slytherin-nette
To Draco Malfoy, his given orders were simple. Turn Harry Potter into a woman. Get her pregnant. Resurrect Lord Voldemort’s soul into the baby’s body. The plan was flawless. He just never planned on falling in love. DM/femHP. Post-DH Hogwarts.

HOLY SHIT! HOW?!?!?!?!

4. Pretend World by xdreamlessxvoyeurx
Adopted from The Minja Turtle- Carey Potter made a wish for someone to guide her through the rough times in her life, and she got her wish in the form of an Angel. This angel just so happens to be a male version of herself from another world. HP/DM AU

Wait, what?

5. In Harms Way by DarlingZombie
SlightAU.Draco goes to San Francisco to see the World Cup and to get a book signed by his favorite author. What happens when he recognizes her from school? Just who is Harmony Potts? and whatever happened to Potter after the Battle of Hogwarts? HPDM slash

This is the weirdest most original plot I've ever come across.


6. An Elf's Lament by Amethyst Flames
Santa is determined to reward Draco's appearance on the “nice” list with his heart's desire and that desire just happens to be Harry. A pushy elf named Hector is landed with the rather impossible job of giving Harry to Draco.

Oh....okay


7. . Still Loved By All by Lilith1631
Draco, Champion of Muggles, is continuing his quest to be Loved By All, especially by Harry.

This would be the most out of character fan fic ever.


It seems that slash fiction writers (at least Draco/Harry ones) can actually write well, and put grammatical sentences together. There was hardly anything to make fun of except really odd plot lines! Way to write well in the English language Drarry fans!

-Holly

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

[4] Glee Fan Fiction, Don't Stop Believing

Kids, prepare for your Puckerberry and finchel fans! That's right GLEE has an up and running fan fiction devotee base! I'd never believed it so soon but there are already 1,111 stories up on ff.net and the cutest mash ups of characters names you've ever heard to signify that they are indeed a couple. Basically, Wilma blows Robsten out of the water!


1. With Love, from Deutschland by LeeLoop
It all started when Fritzy went running across her lawn, pantless, wanting to kill Puck and Finn, who ran over her cat. So how is it that she becomes a stand-in for Quinn, a counselor to a counselor and steals the heart of the least likely person?

Most of my stories start out this way too.

2. Fluorescent Conversations by The Wind in the Pillows
“Don’t worry Rachel, I got your back. Get away! I know how to uh break dance? I know how to BREAKDANCE FIGHT” Mike had his fists in the air when said this. *Takes place during Hairography*

Of course it does! Otherwise it wouldn't make sense at all.

3. Lip gloss by In memory of the fallen
Tina wears strawberry lipgloss.

Deep. I can really see this going somewhere no one imagined.

4. Peppermint by Shiny-kins
Will had always wondered what Emma tasted like. Oneshot. Will/Emma, Wemma, Wilma, whatever you want to call it.

Peppermint? Peppermint! That's the best you could do? I always thought she'd smell like cleaner and bleach.

5. At the End of the Day by mytimeofdying
This kind of shit didn't happen in Lima, Ohio.

Oh no it doesn't!

6. The Hardest Part About Saying Hello is Goodbye by freelance spice
or The Ex-Cheerio Former Teen Mother Motown Jammin' Time Traveler's Lady Wife - Quinn's a Time Traveler, RachelQuinn, Femslash

Complex.

7. Finn's Island by lind-z lou
Takes place during Vitamin D..Finn can't sleep, so he watches Gilligan's Island, and this is what happens. T on the safe side.

It's best to play it safe when dealing with Gilligan's Island. That show is tricky stuff.

8. Mail Fail by cruiscin lan
Finn and Brittany have awkward accidental sex.

I hate it when this happens to me.

Until next time!

-Holly

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

[3] The Bible...yes the Bible

I should have known this would come up, considering there is a class at my college you can take called, "The Bible As Literature."

Now many people follow the Bible and therefore I feel that that makes them a "fan" of the Bible. But why on EARTH would these people want to create their own fictitious version of events in the Bible??? WHY?!

Well I've found some of those people. So please sit back, relax, and read some summaries of particularly interesting Bible Fanfiction.

1.He'll Be Coming Like the Lightning When He Comes by Qoheleth
For those who like an apocalyptic note in their campfire songs.

Yes please!

2. My Last Supper by Qoheleth
If the ABBA people expect me to apologize for this, they little know their man.

Oh yes...yes...set to the song "Our Last Summer". By the way, I'm a huge ABBA fan. So I had to click on the story and here is the first few lines:

I can still recall
My Last Supper,
I still see it all:
In the upper room,
When the hour had come,
My Last Supper,
Just before the tomb.



3.Heavenly High » by notfoyoo
My totaaly cool story that im righting about this gurl Trinity at a scool wit Bible ppl an ppl from mythology an gods an stufff. becaus iv been preying about wat to do and GOD said to wright.

This summary speaks for itself.

4.Rayne and Jill the little black bible by Breeder of evil
This is the second bone tingling part in my sattyrical, raunchy spoof of the bible. YAAAAAAAAAY it took a while but i wrote ahead in this time soooo more coming soon guys next up "WTF" the third chapter. lol you'll see why it is so titled.

Oh No....Noooooo I was waiting for the "dirty" version fo the Bible to pop up somewhere. And here it is.

5.Judas Has a Song Stuck in His Head by DragonWriter444
It's "Womanizer".

Great, do we have to bring Britney Spears into EVERYTHING?

6.Christ '08 by Threefold Vixen
In which Jesus runs for President of the US.

Urm...didn't this already happen? Obama won?

7.Hot steamy yaoi by Ch3rry1010
a very short story my friend wrote with judas, jesus, and a four legged friend.

Well it was only a matter of time before bestiality got involved


So in conclusion...MOST of the people who write Bible fanfiction...will all go to hell.


Tune in next time for a new book/movie/tv show fan fiction and your favorite characters.

-Holly

Thursday, September 10, 2009

[2] The Goonies, All Characters

'Okay who doesn't love the Goonies? How can ANYONE ruin the Goonies?'

I smiled to myself as this thought popped into my head when I saw Goonies as a fan fiction spot under movies. People who write about the Goonies HAVE to be good people right? They have to be the kind of people that really love the movie and know all the characters. They have to know what works and doesn't work. I mean Goonies fans, let's face it, are smart people...

Or so I thought. Let me introduce you to the worst ideas for Goonies fan fiction...EVER.

1. My Goonie Adventure by Munksrrbandppgfan
One happens when me and my 4 friends stumble in the Goonies world? As we come upstaires,we werent at my house..Our mouthes hung open and our eyes widend.Ellie dropped her soda and cheesy nachoes all over the floor..

I wonder ONE will happen?

2. The Goonies adventure » by GoonieGirl
six girls go into the movie The Goonies. Have the adventure that made us all hold our breaths. They have the most hilarious adventure. That you don't want to miss! I mean who doesn't love adventure, love, fun, and lots of humor?

This adventure...it's so crazy it's so adventury I mean who doesn't want to miss this funny hilarious crazy adventure?!

3. Contact by K.C.zOMG
Her old pair being broken and abandoned, Stef needs new glasses. Mouth/Stef oneshot

What pair will she get? How will she pay for them? Will she like her new glasses? STAY TUNED.

4. A Gonnie Summer » by Chazzy
Thiiis is about their next adventour. there will be sum love danger ect send reviews if you wish me to add in a part that you will like.

I put this one in here because it MIGHT be funny if you can understand what it says.

5. The goonies return by GoonieGirl
seguel to a goonies adventure. I haven't finished the first one so don't read if you don't want major spoilers!

What's a seguel?

Tune in next time for a new book/movie/tv show fan fiction and your favorite characters.

-Holly

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

[1] Harry Potter, Draco/Hermione

1. These things Happen by IrCrayonBoxen
So. Hermione is a pothead in the muggle world. And the wizarding world has no idea of its effects on humans. So when Hermione and Draco are sent out to the Forbidden forest, and they find a pot plant...she teaches Draco about pot of course. Rated M.

If this was made into a movie, Kristen Stewart could play the part of Hermione.

2. unreachable » by imreallyginnyweasey
what happens when draco falls in love, what about when hermione falls in love? what if they fall in love... with eachother? written in hermione's POV. please review. m for later chapters

*que dramatic music* DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN.


3. A Never Ending Dare » by totalgryffindork
A complex love story between Draco and Hermione. Draco plays Dare with his friends and is dared by Blaise to ask Hermione Granger out. Without a choice he does. But when Draco hangs out with Hermione more, he realizes that he might have feelings for her.

Sounds SUPER complex

4. Nightmare » by BlackxValentine
Nightmares leave Draco sleepless and confused as Hermione helps him uncover the truth behind the town of Silent Hill.

WAIT, WHAT? SILENT HILL??? Um...hate to break it to you BlackxValentine but that story line is TAKEN.

5. disturbia » by ashleigh granger
NOT A SONG FIC. DM/HG/BZ Hermione granger owns her own night club, and is relatively sane. until two gorgeous slytherins come in and turn her world upside down. harry and ron come in in later chapters, but are not friendly AT ALL. Will be M later

NOT FRIENDLY AT ALL. THEY PUSH OVER HER BAR STOOLS AND DRACO AND BLAISE STUN THEN WITH THEIR GORGEOUS SLYTHERIN LOOKS!

6. Hermione's Rose Tree » by DracoandHermioneforever96
Hermione has a scret rose tree at hogwarts. One day, she finds out it isn't just hers.

How DARE Draco steal her rose tree!

7.Inside Your Heaven » by angelfbabyxo
But I'm a mudblood," Hermione whispered. Draco smiled. "No, you're MY mudblood."

Aw how sweet. It's like saying "But I'm a bitch." "No, you're MY bitch." Romantic.

8. The Travesty of Human Fallibility » by evizyt
It's all your fault," she hissed, poking him in the chest. "If YOU hadn't gotten me drunk, seduced me, and forgotten contraception, then we wouldn't exactly be in this mess right now, would we?" He smirked. "Granger... you know you wanted me." DHr

Sounds like a typical Friday night.

9. Castle of Cake by Fire Magus
Draco is plagued by naughty dreams of Hermione; Hermione must find the missing stepfather of Blaise; Blaise forces Draco to help him run a bakery; Lucius throws a tea party; and something smells fishy. Literally and metaphorically. DM/HG.

Yes it does...it does indeed.

10. The Coffee Prince Shop » by dominiquevip
Desperate for money, Hermione agrees to be Draco's gay lover to avoid his blind dates. After hiring her as a boy, he begins to develop feelings, will he accept his "homosexuality"? Hermione/Draco HP/PP MF/OC possibly BZ/GW and slashes?

Oh my god....YES.

Tune in next time for a new book/movie/tv show fan fiction and your favorite characters.

Welcome!

This blog will take you deep into the realm of what fiction would be like without the publishing industry. Publishers, being those that separate the good from the crap.


Why can't ANYONE write? -you ask

There is a good answer to that question and the answer lies within the realm of FAN FICTION!

I will give you the answer you seek through the magic of copy and paste. I alone will dare venture into the realm of www.fanfiction.net and report back to you with the summary's of stories written by...ANYONE.

So read on, stay tuned, and come back often because each new post will take you into a new book/movie/tvshow fanfic with your favorite characters!